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[personal profile] wise
Much as I hate to admit it, I am a man.
Does this mean I wish I were a woman? No. They have their own foibles and psychosis to deal with.
This does mean that I have all of the foibles and psychosis associated with being a man. I have an advantage, though. I know what they are and I fight against them when I can. What are they? I’m not sure I should post them openly. I might be thrown out of the Guy’s Club (formally known as the Men’s Club, but that seems to be associated with hair loss now for some reason) for revealing club secrets.
In the interest of better Male/Female communications, I am willing to take the risk! Here we go!

Communication: This is really not a big club secret, so I think I am safe on this one. As a matter of fact, it is well documented in Psychological Annuls, but who reads those anyway? I use language like a man. This is a fundamental difference in the way a woman uses language. What do I mean? Men use language as a tool while woman use it as a means to… well, communicate. This leads to a great amount of confusion between the sexes. Allow me to illustrate.
Tools fix things. Tools build things. Hence, when a man uses language, he is building sentences and fixing misunderstandings. If a man communicates a problem to someone, he expects that person to fix said problem. Conversely, if someone communicates a problem to a man, he believes that someone expects him to fix it.
Women use language as a means to communicate thoughts, feelings and emotions. They use language to commiserate. To get things that are bothering them out into the open so they can deal with them. If a woman communicates a problem to someone, she doesn’t expect that person to fix the problem. If someone communicates a problem to the woman, she believes that someone is sharing the problem to feel better (or commiserating).
Can you see how this difference in communication styles causes problems? If a man tells a woman about a problem, it is because he expects here to fix it. She believes he is just sharing the problem to commiserate. The problem is not fixed and the man gets even more frustrated. Conversely, if a woman tells a man about a problem, she does not expect the man to fix it. He believes she expects him to fix the problem, so he tries. This frustrates the woman because the man is interfering.
Is this always the case? No. These are fundamental, basic differences and people are extremely complicated beings. Just keep these things in mind.

That’s enough for now. I will continue this diatribe at a later date... maybe.

I do realize I communicate, for the most part, like a man. I do not apologize for this. I do, however, apologize for any misunderstandings.
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March 2011

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